You make my heart race every night I text you…making it my favorite part of the day :) wish this will lead to somewhere happiness will remain forever 😆

Sigh.. No more clubbing for me…don’t enjoy it no more :( depressed

I’m lonely as ever
This tears they keep falling
It seems like never

I just want one person. That’s it.

Why is it so hard…

The inside of me is breaking and crushing.. Seeing everyone happy with someone except me. Do I not deserve someone?

:’(

Sometimes it’s just better to keep it to yourself. No one really cares anyways :(

Despicable me

17 Sept 2012
12:23 AM

I don’t know why but it seems my family despise me. 

Everything I do seem to piss or annoy everyone.

Am I that detestable and disgusting and useless?

I am already feeling the worst of myself

I thought coming back would make me feel better. 

But it isn’t the case. I feel worst about myself

People around me whom I thought are my friends, turn out to be just fair-weather friends.

He really disappoint me. He only care about himself and about having fun. Nothing is about friendship or anything.

This pain in my heart is getting deeper. 

I don’t know who to turn to and I feel that I should not turn to anyone

The more I trust people, the more I get let down. 

IS this how life should be? 

This is my only solace, my somewhat comfort. 

Maybe just one day, I will despise myself less, and then people will start despising me less. Especially my family.

I just want them to be proud of me. I want to be proud of myself. But I don’t see how anything is happening anytime soon.

Everything hurts me to the core and I just don’t know what to do with this pain.

But this for sure, I am going to read Ben Carson’s book by the end of my break.

Maybe then, some pieces will come together.